One of the verses you need to memorize whether you’re a parent or not. Every person should memorize this verse. Write it down. Proverbs 24:16. You need to teach this verse to your children.
Proverbs 24:16 “Even if good people fall seven times, they will get back up again!”
I love that verse. It says even good people fall. The word there actually in Hebrew is the word “righteous.” “Though a righteous man falls seven times he rises again.” Even when good people fall, even the best people, well intentioned, they stumble. They mess up. They flub. They say the wrong thing. They do the wrong thing. We all fall. We all stumble. We all mess up.
And when we fall that’s not the important thing. It says good people get back up again even if they fall seven times. That’s the difference between a success and a failure.
Anytime you compare anybody to anybody else you’ve made a major mistake in life. Why? Because everybody’s unique. Everybody’s different. There’s nobody in the world like you. You are incomparable. And the Bible tells us not to compare. You should never compare your wife to anybody else. You should never compare your husband to anybody else. You should never compare your lawn or your house or your job to anybody else. You certainly should never compare your kids. “Why can’t you be more like your brother? Why can’t you be more like your mom? Why can’t you be more like your dad?” I’ll tell you why! Because I’m not them! And neither are you.
Comparing never, never works. And when you do it it’s unhelpful. It’s unfair. And it’s lethal to any relationship. You start comparing your wife to somebody else you’re heading for divorce court. It’s lethal. Just stop. The Bible says over and over again you should never compare. Let me show you one verse.
Galatians 6:4 “Each person should judge his own actions [let me be the judge of my own actions] and not compare himself with others. Then he can be proud for what he himself has done.”
Wait a minute! I thought pride was a sin. There’s a good kind of pride and there’s a bad kind of pride. The good kind of pride is “I did the best I could with what I had. I’m proud of what I did.” The bad kind of pride is “I’m better than so and so over there.” That’s comparing.
If your marriage is going to last to the ages, you’re going to go through enormous amounts of change. We’re not the same people we were when we got married. If you stay with the same person for life you grow and you don’t stay the same. So your marriage will succeed or fail by your ability to learn how to deal with change. And to realize that change can be a good thing. It can be a bad thing. It can be a good thing and it can keep you from boredom.
But let’s talk about the kind of change, the things that don’t change in life. Like your personality. That’s not going to change.
When you kind of look over at each other and go, you are never going to change! And believe me every relationship hits those moments, those kind of stuck places where you realize that the person you are married to, has some habits that drive you absolutely insane. And the likelihood that that will ever change is remote and dim. So then what are you going to do about it? How do you deal with it?
We do drive each other crazy! Sincerely, honestly…
We’ve been married twenty nine years. Even today we still see things totally different. How do you deal with those things? Here are three or four suggestions. One of them is stop using incompatibility as an excuse. People say, “We’re just incompatible so we’re going to divorce.” I don’t believe in that term. I think the word “incompatibility” is a word made up by divorce attorneys to justify divorce. The truth is you’re not compatible with anybody. You will never meet anybody that you are compatible with because nobody agrees with everything you do. So no matter who you marry you are incompatible.
There’s another word for incompatibility. Selfishness. When people say, “We’re incompatible,” I have two words for you: grow up. Because given the right situation if you choose to love you can fall in love with anybody and stay in love with anybody. That’s another thing that’s important.
Realize love is a choice. People think love is a feeling. Love is not a feeling. Love is a choice. Love creates feelings. Love creates great feelings.
Genesis 1:27 says this: “So God created people in his own image; He patterned them after himself – creating both male and female with his image. [So males don’t have all the image of God or females. We both get parts of God’s image.] Then God blessed them and commanded them, [Here is the very first command God gives to the human race. I want you to read it aloud with great gusto. Ready! Here we go. God commanded them…] Be fruitful and multiply! Fill the earth!’”
So God’s first command to the human race is get married and have sex. That, by the way, friends, is the only command of God the human race has been able to keep!
And we’ve done a pretty good job at that one. There are seven billion of us on the planet because your parents and their parents and their parents and their parents and their parents were fruitful and multiplied and filled the land, filled the world. So we’re all here.